Saturday, June 13, 2009

Confessions of a House Officer #1

I had never felt so alone in my life before.

Perhaps, the last time was some very long time ago.

Since first year, I guess. Okay, now I sounded almost like Mummy’s pet.

But hey, I think I was quite independent today, you know. I was the ONLY outstation HO who drove down to Malacca alone, without my parents or family. Even the 2 only guys from PJ had their parents babysitting them. Don’t you think I deserved some credit for that???

However, it was quite scary as well, as I did not slept well the night before, and almost doze off on the journey here. Which of course, was bad. So bad I had to stop at one of the rest area, and took a 10 minute nap, and some coffee, before continuing my journey.

Today was basically ‘REPORTING DAY’ for me. Seriously, I have not been into the wards yet. Maybe I shall find some time to go to the wards tomorrow morning, just to have a look. I had like a session of lecturing until 12.45 noon, which I struggled very much not to fall asleep.
There was 11 new House Officers reporting to work today, 2 guys, and 7 girls. Apparently, both the guys had a quarter each to stay, while 9 of us, Yes, NINE of us, did not.

So, we were offered two options, temporarily, until we get a room at the hospital quarters. One to stay in a nearby abandoned wooden house in the hospital compound (A), or staying in a new apartment about 5 minutes drive away (B), both non-furnished. When I was shown to the former, I was like, how can I survive here?

I mean, in less than 2 minutes, my skin already had flares from the overloading mass cells, and I had rhinitis relapse. Yup, the place was super dusty; probably no one had been living here for the past 2 years or so. And there’s not yet all.

About 5 feet away, parted by a single fence, was a HUGE alarm clock. Of course, my other coursemates were like happily commenting, ‘Bagusnya,… waktu subuh mesti mudah bangun’…. While the little voice in me was saying, (forgive me for my harshness), WALAUWEYYY, I HAVE A DEDICATED 5 TIMES PER DAY ALARM CLOCK, the kind that vibrates some more.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Have I mention about the terrible sanitary condition, and the lack of facilities?
Naturally, I suggested taking a look at the other apartment, the new one, which is about 5 minutes away. Unfortunately, everyone was keener to Mr Alarm Clock. And I had no choice but to follow the crowd, as we were asked to agree upon one place to stay.

I felt alone.

Thank God, my seniors from UKM, Patricia & Yvonne, had an extra bed at her Quarters, and they sort of ‘adopted’ me. I got to stay with them for a while. So, they were my heroes who saved me from another asthmatic attack/rhinitis outbreak/atopy eczema… And my super-nice senior, Julian was kind enough to offer help and useful advices. And I’m glad Su Yin and QKK were still around for the next few days. At least I’ll have people to have dinner with me.

Otherwise… oh well… God knows what might happen to me.

I had been trying to learn the roads in Malacca today. I had learnt that:

1. Malacca had to use parking ticket EVERYWHERE you park. Which I thought was very troublesome, the scratching and time estimation thingy. Su Yin thought me how to sort of ‘cheat’ a few minutes… hehe… wow, I have a lot to learn.

2. The parking lots in Malacca are SUPER NARROW. I think after 2 years here, I’ll probably be a PROFESSIONAL in side parking!! Seriously!

3. Eventhough my friend gave directions to ‘go straight’ (in other words, follow the main road).. but the roads in Malacca Town is NEVER straight… It’s like a snake, winding…. And the one way streets makes things even more difficult. Not to forget, my naturally poor sense of directions… oh well…

I’m currently typing from the hall at the end of my block. It seemed quite scary around here. Me being the only one. I can hear the rain pouring outside, with occasional flashes of lightning, strikes of thunder. I fought the fear, the way I fought the fear all day, today.

I think I feared of not being able to fit in.

I feared that I might not be as strong as I thought.

I feared that I might give up. That I might break.

Dr XYZ warned me at induction that the first one month at our new hospital would probably be one of the HARDEST! Over 50% would be having second thoughts of ‘why am I here?’ ‘Why did I take medicine?’ … and I can’t help feeling the fear that I might fall into that category. I hope I won’t.

It’s sad you know. The quarters that I am currently accommodating is a 3-people sharing room with an attached bathroom. That’s all. YUP, that is all. No laundry area. No kitchen. No hall or rest area. More importantly, NO washing machine. NO refrigerator. okay, now that sounded almost too bimbotic, but nvm... i thought it was basic.. my senior sent her laudry to the dobi, which cost like RM3 per kg!!! wow! super-EX la... each time i go wash will be like RM10, times twice a week, for 4 weeks... hmm... RM80 per month on laundry! that also so susah, have to send clothes out...

And seriously, it does not feel home at all. I cannot imagine living in a place like this for the next two years. The social life in Housemanship was said to be almost non-existent. They have take so much away from me, sometimes, I just wished I still have some room of my own to breathe.

Do you know how does it feels, wanting to find a place to stay but there’s no one to share the place with me? And I do not think it’s very safe to live alone. I do not have that courage, yet, not yet. I surveyed this place, there is no swimming pool nearby, or squash courts, or any sports that I can play alone. Except, jogging, perhaps.

I wonder whether I need to have dinner alone. I have not tried that yet. I can imagine, even when I have the time to watch movies or go shopping, will I be doing that alone? At this point, I missed my friends and family so very much.

Well, I found there’s a MPH in Mahkota Perade. So, maybe, maybe there’s still a place where I can hang out contentedly.

Sorry, I am getting a little too wordy today.

I have a message to all :


Oh well, I better get some sleep. Enough ranting for today…

p/s: some pictures of my new room :)

place to rehat

the beds...
you see what i see??



i got one all to myself!


the shower room a bit sad and geli...


no heater... aiks...


  1. haha, i'll consider ur invitation. LOL.
    faster go check out the makan makan place first..

  2. That's the way of life... you have chosen this path, you have to walk right through

    good luck for your new posting

  3. hihi, no problem. Malacca is a nice place. U'll love it after u get used to it.

    Will find u with a queck if free, keke.

    Take care and good luck

  4. Malacca is a lovely place, but the place u're staying is a tad too crappy.

    Shinyin, I hope you will enjoy ur work soon enough, in the best possible way you can, always with respect!! I'm sure you'll tough them all out..

    p/s: 2 guys and 7 girls, the ratio isn't too good!! hahaha :D

    please take care beb.. all the beset

  5. haha..yea..da shower room is euuu..just settle down 1st,adapt to da environment den later u try to look for better apartment @ wat to stay in lur..dun worry..will be fine wan..good luck and all the best!happy working!=D

  6. Shinyin u'll adapt to it much sooner than you thought & will be suprised how easy u can win new friends as well..Gambateh :)

  7. u have made a tougher decision before, just hold on to the determination u have, and it will helps u sail on thru the rest. all the best~

  8. In Melaka, there is a new mall called Pahlawan Plaza.. Melaka is really a sleepy town.

    Your room is still okey. I been in worst studying & living conditions :P

  9. hotchick!!!!!!!!! u there so room is a bit ex...but is stil comfy...
    tml we all start work le....must uush uush..remember we all pass thru the currently-stil-top 1-most horrifying pro we can survive thru HOship anything wan talk wan complaint can call cl..ekekek....she more free me oso ar~~~ now we all no more family le...need make new frens oso....u beware don cincai believe ppl ar...too many bad ppl out there....have a good rest and tml gambate!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. wu shin'n i'm sure u can make friends very fast one... trust me when i say this, i know coz i've always envy this ability of yours... so u shouldn't be afraid that no one will have dinner with u, watch movies with u, hang out with u etc etc... i'm sure u'll get adapted pretty soon... anyway if u have anything to vent, or too bored, u can always call us... we're never too busy for you... ;)

  11. oh ya, sure we will go malacca to find u... but wait till u're familiar with the roads and nice places to eat la wakakakkakaakkakak...

  12. Alright then, will find you when i happened to visit Malacca. Contact you through your blog? By any chances then. Definitely gonna be weird. Two strangers. LOL.

    The greatest fear is to be alone. Well i guess whenever you're feeling too lonely, you could always turn on to your blog, and post an entry or two. We'll comment, the world isnt just only you. We'll keep you going on, even when the going gets tough! ^^

  13. it is the time for you to explore Melacca city. 2 years will be very fast...

  14. hotchick, sorry for reading ur blog so i am crazy in shopping last few days... buying a lot...n a lot...u will probably faint after u have seen my stuffs..
    ur place there is a bit crampy lar...but beginning is like tat de....dun be too frustrated...things will be getting better n better... will have an solution no matter how hard is the problem is, isn't it? wish to be with u also...but can't....miss u all so much... i also been stayed at melaka for 1 n half year wow... laundry been handwashing.... fridge...i bought 1.... i also considered stayed at melaka alone ar....more terrible than u with all the mean housemate... but luckily i found a good friend there... n i think u will do the same....once u have a good friend there...u won't feel so lonely n helpless guah....but must beware oo..wear ur spec to know ppl ar.....
    uush uush...super uush... xn
    gambade together ooo..even we r in different ground but same sky ,right?

  15. heya!! im currently havin com med posting so wont be goin MGH till next week.
    which ward are u posted to?
    haha...i initially felt that malacca was boring and all but it isnt as bad as it sounds :)
    u'll get used to it soon...nothing like KL but better than many other plcs... at least there are huge malls here!

  16. fengy: I'm surprised you're here!!!

    Shin yin, gosh, i'm starting to see the REAL WORLD!!! so scary.. no wonder ppl said housemanship is tough.. so, should I pass exam?? hahahahahaha!!

    Eh, ur room is ok la. but to stay there for long, then i hav no idea. Hm, maybe after a while, when new houseman from UM come then u will get frens?? dun worry =D

  17. shinyin, the more u suffer now, the better it is in the future gua. do this the army style! the snow is slowing down my browser ler.. anyway, good luck! go malacca i call u

  18. from mama:
    don't feel lonely and scary, even though i am not at your side, but my heart is always with you.

    there are always angles watching over you.

    Good luck and be happy, always look at the bright side.mama is always there for you.

  19. hey! wow, looks like a hostel dorm......frm a thai horror movie :P

    don't worry, maybe after a couple of mths, there'd be people who'd be willing to share an apartment/house with you... meanwhile hang in there! anyway, you'll probably be too tired to worry about where you're sleeping... H.Os= zombies.

    :p i'll be joining the crowd next yr..
    good luck with work and settling down!


  20. wa...
    shinyin..wait for my course to start..i will take pictures of my hostel to make u envy :P

    no la...kidding only...
    u cant rent outside and stay out meh?

  21. lucky to get a town! Nice place you've got there. Count your blessings. If you had got the rural areas in East Malaysia, no parking problem, no problem with directions but you would be crying your heart out! LOL!!! All the best...

  22. hey... i didn't know u're working in melaka -.-+ my hometown... maybe we can find some time to meet :D

    i'll bring you around...
    there's a lot of nice food in Melaka
    (although not nice like HK! lol)

    and there's a few shopping centre nearby your General Hospital Melaka ... such as Giant and Tesco... u can go to Bukit Baru Sin Hoe Garden to eat... there's nice food at the food court there.

  23. oops... sry i didn't logout my father's account...

    i'm the one who posted the comment above....

    btw, why can't u stay other place? i mean rent other place? u can rent at Bukit Beruang's nearby Multimedia University...

    and I think you can take short cut to work... ur driving skills would be greater and greater lol...


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Author's Note

Dear friends and readers, Thank you for dropping by and leaving comments/ shoutouts. More importantly, thank you for being there... please accept my apology that, lately, i may be busy with work and not have time to reply youir messages/comments, but rest assured, each and everyone is read, and highly appreciated :) have a nice day! ^^

of love

Today, i heard a story which was not a story of falling...
of living in the dark end of winter turmoil..
instead, it was a love story..
of a couple who did not live happily ever after...
but they live, loving each other..