(April 16, 2006 at 10:55 PM)
Being a Libran made me indecisive,
To live life with many “WHAT IFs…”
Sometimes, decision, once made is beyond rectification,
And most often, I wish to go back in time,
To travel the road not taken,
Yet somehow, I come to realize, this is not possible
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My first week of clinical studies had just past. You’ll probably wonder how is it like, finally having the real hands-on experience. I’m not sure whether to describe it in a happy tone or otherwise. Had been rather emotionally unstable last week, perhaps side effect from the new environment. The fear of having to adapt had came to haunt me again.
Ok, you probably want to hear more about how it is like, being in the clinics… is it anything like what you see on TV? Not really,.. imagine, a group of students(say approximately 10) follows a doctor around the ward, laying 11 pairs of eyes on your abdomen, giving comments like, why is his abdomen so big? And words like- liver cirrhosis, jaundice, stroke, cancer, etc starts popping out between lines….
First week is not a peek of what one will be doing in the future. In fact, it IS what I will be doing… and I can’t just say, “it’s my job..” especially when decisions, in this case involves people’s life! I am really impressed with the doctors here, they are like some walking encyclopedia… in fact better still, as they are capable to update themselves with new inputs, compare the patients with old cases, decide on the diagnosis and treatment, and even predict the outcome (prognosis)!!
I guess it’s always easier when one believes that – everything happens for a reason… To strongly feel that everything is God’s will… everything is meant to be… everything is destined… that way, most people would not feel bad or over-responsible of all the decisions made…(which you might think is a very selfish belief) Some people believe in being possessed, cursed, or charmed. Sometimes, when unexplainable things are done, and really, I can’t understand why I did them. So, I was like –WHAT THE HECK!! - Was I possessed? Nahhh… So, I live to regret…
