Transient Happiness

You hide your emotions behind the layers and layers of make up,
You hide your depression behind the layers and layers of words,

The wards were unusually quiet today,
Or was it I who turned down the volume,
I cannot believe I am in my final year, already,
It seemed like it started just yesterday.

It is not so much of the exams that I feared,
At least, not anymore,
Instead, I feared of life after that,
life after exams,
And I feared of not being able to perform,
I feared of disappointing others, disappointing myself,
Dealing with lives, it’s not something you can take lightly,
When every decision counts and makes a difference,
And I feared I may run, just the opposite direction,
Refusing to make that decision,
As I pull the brakes,
Shut the engine,
The way I shut myself out today.

Life must go on, isn’t it?
I cannot walk down this path blindfolded,
Can i?

Happiness is just transient,
And you knew that, didn’t you?


(Written on March 25, 2008 at 09:32 AM)

subtituting coffee with tea

95 days without coffee and still counting...

coffee, a man's best friend... accompanying you on late nights, when you need to burn the midnight oil, you closed your eyes and inhaled the unique aroma, coffee never disappoints you... until that very day, you were betrayed once, in tears and disappointment, you abandoned your very best friend, denied it's existent, avoided it at all cost, substituting coffee with tea at home, ordering orange juice instead at the coffeehouse, what an total humiliation to him, a cut into his strong ego.. And now, you feel the need to have him again, the withdrawal symptoms kick in, and you realized, you need him more than he needs you… without coffee, one cannot concentrate, I cannot concentrate.. the in box piling up, the out box with no effort to progress... I need the adrenaline...