Tuesday, August 12, 2008

falling...

I kept falling,
I do not know why,
I just do.


Whether it was physically
Or just emotionally
Or mentally
I fall

I fell again today, on my way to class, I did not know how it happened, It just did, I did not trip over anything, I just fell.

And the next thing I did was the rapid supination-pronation of wrist and hand-tapping test, to look for dysdiachokinesia. Though I knew that spinocerebellar ataxia was very unlikely, I did it anyway. Despite being a medical student, I do silly things anyway, and Susie had a great laugh when I told her this. oh well..

I fell again, at case presentation today, with Prof Wu, not physically though, it was a horrible experience, I would not like to elaborate. Perhaps it was the post-call syndrome, I could not be sure.

I fell even in my dreams. The scene repeatingly haunting me, I do not know why, I could not understand the times I wake up shouting.

I am tired of falling. Coz when I do fall, I fall deep. Sometimes you wonder, will you ever stand again.

5 comments:

  1. Positive thinking! If you talk about falling physically, the bigger you are, the harder you fall - that's me! I trip and fall a lot...but I just get up and go on. The same, psychologically...just get up and go on! No use turning back to look at the times you fell cos you may fall again. Look forward, watch where you're going...and don;t miss all the good things along your way! Cheers!

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  2. >suituapui>>it still hurts from the fall yesterday, the bruises on my knees,.. and the pain on my twisted leg 3 weeks ago,.. but of course there are other things in life that hurt a lot more.. it is not that i choose to keep turn back, sometimes there are too much reminding me of the past.. it's not like one can delete everything, like the way i reformatted my computer,ooo i wished i could..

    perhaps you are right, i have not been watching where i was going,.. maybe, it's time to get up and go on.... it's not easy, but it is perhaps, the right thing and most sensible thing to do.. will try...

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  3. stay strong..be positive...physically can heal..dun worry

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  4. >chuanguan>> sure physically heal... and i won't be whinning over not being able to wear a skirt because my knees are blue-black... :( then again, like you said, physically...

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  5. You sure it wasn't an ear infection or something like that? or perhaps you weren't concentrating on what is in front of you. Perhaps you were thinking of something else while you were walking? Try concentrating what is in front of you while walking and see if that helps and maybe do some coordination exercises if you want to?

    On the mental side, the only thing you can do is think positively and try not to repeat the mistakes again. Work harder on your preparations, have some rehearsal on your presentations and be confident of yourself. Confidence is the KEY as what my friend always said to me.

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Author's Note

Dear friends and readers, Thank you for dropping by and leaving comments/ shoutouts. More importantly, thank you for being there... please accept my apology that, lately, i may be busy with work and not have time to reply youir messages/comments, but rest assured, each and everyone is read, and highly appreciated :) have a nice day! ^^

of love

Today, i heard a story which was not a story of falling...
of living in the dark end of winter turmoil..
instead, it was a love story..
of a couple who did not live happily ever after...
but they live, loving each other..