crushes crushes people

Referring to the previous post on Crushes, a friend of mine said that, to get people to talk about things, I should get the ball rolling first… oh well…

I find telling stories from the past can be quite embarrassing, but you know, when things happened some very long, long time ago, thinking back, you could only laugh yourself silly.

So, today, I shall share my story.

YES, Tai Im Sing, I am writing about my crush, and you owe me dinner, haha!

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I think I had my first crush when I was in standard three. Actually, I cannot be sure. I mean, what does a 9 year-old knows about crushes and all? A 9-year-old can get so confused with emotions and all…

Anyway, back then, when I was a 9-year-old kid, I was very much different from now, I guess. I was not tall, and not the least pretty or smart. I wore huge thick rimmed spectacles since year one. (Thanks to my dad who somehow believed that the bigger the frames, the more you can see, sigh..) I had huge incisor teeth, the kind that overlapped each other, creating an inverted ‘V’ shape or a dentition on my front upper row teeth, somehow slightly disfiguring. Mummy used to call them ‘cute rabbit teeth’, while I, well, I had my reasons not to smile.

I had straight hair, short, with some fringe, common haircut, not enough to fish a compliment. I was not even friendly or talkative. Shy may not be the sufficient vocabulary either. Teachers never remember me.

When relatives visits us, it was often ‘ Nei geh tai lui hou guai, Ling Ling hou leng, chii jap pun mui’. (In cantonese, your eldest daughter very obedient, second daughter very pretty, like a Japanese doll) Ling Ling is my sister, and she was always the pretty one. And I was supposing, the obedient one. Did I say that with a tinge of jealousy?? Haha! I need to clarify that I love my sister very much, and we have a very close bond. We still do immature things together, most which are too embarrassing to blog about.

Anyway, back to the story.

So, that was the 9-year-old me.

Let’s just say, I was the little girl in class that no one notices.

However, there was this boy who noticed. He sat next to me at class. I do not know why I still remember him. Perhaps, it was because he was very nice.

His name was Kevin. Kevin Wong.
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I remember the paper frogs he taught me to fold. And I still remembered how to fold them. We would have competitions on whose frogs could jump the highest, the furthest. He made the frogs do impressive somersaults, while we laughed at those who could not land at their feet.

Here's how the paper frog looked like.
I folded another one, as it looked very alone.

Anyway, those days, he would race me at homework, I remember Maths in particular. Somehow, he always wins and he would rush me into finishing mine, sometimes even letting me copy answers. I could not remember whether I did so. I often looked forward to finishing my homework fast; just to catch up with him, so that we would have time for play.

When I was unhappy or bored, he would cheer me up, telling me stories. I think he must have been very good with origami; he would fold objects with his magic hands, build buildings from stationeries, making his stories very much exciting. I remembered, once, during the middle of exams, he made this HUGE froggie from a white artblock! Funny, I remember none of those stories now.

I remembered he played the Electone (an electric piano with 2 layers of keys plus 1 layer of foot pedals). We shared the same fate as we were forced by our parents to practiced 1 to 2 hours per day. He was very smart for a 9 year old, I guess, as he would play a few songs, record them in the electone, and replay the songs repeatedly over the next whole hour. His Philippino maid, busy cooking in the kitchen, never discovered it. I secretly envied him for that, and wished my piano was electrical too! I remembered we would sit for hours at our desk, together playing the imaginary piano during breaks, making up some imaginary song. I never really heard him play before though.

After school, we would play at the school field, near the back school gate, while waiting to go home. We would catch ladybirds and let them go. I remembered the red round creatures with pretty black spots. We would play catch and raced each other to the end of the field.

About half a year later, or so, my parents decided to shift to Seremban. So, I had to change schools.

And I, I never see him again.

So, that was the story of my first crush, that is, if you consider that as one.

There was no palpitations, ears-turning-red, or i-can’t-live-without-you kind of feeling though. Perhaps, it was more of losing a childhood friend rather than a crush. I think I did missed him every once in a while, back then. I must have had. Maybe, that was why, part of me resented to start all over in a new primary school.

Silly me, right?

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Anyway, I cannot decide whether I like crushes or not.

I think sometimes, maybe sometimes, crushes crushes people.

At first, it feels good, nice.
Then, comes the palpitations and the I-want-to-see-you feeling and all.
Sometimes, you get fantasy and all, to some extent, even obsessions. And you had to inhibit your own mind like : Gosh, can I just stop thinking about him! Stop appearing in my dreams, please! -And it just drives you crazy. The last time I saw my last crush, I had an asthmatic attack. Not so good (or safe), huh?

So, over the years, there was the head prefect, the school house captain, the senior, the group moderator, the other group moderator, and a few others…

but I guess the longest crush I had,
the longest crush I had,
it had to be him.

Let me see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5….. 12 years!

OH MY GOD! I had a crush on you for 12 years!!

Well, I actually had a picture of him.
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TA-DA!
how can anyone not have a crush on him?

I think I still do, haha!

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p/s: There is a poll about crushes on the right hand column of this page. Do feel free to participate.