Confessions of a House Officer #1

I had never felt so alone in my life before.

Perhaps, the last time was some very long time ago.

Since first year, I guess. Okay, now I sounded almost like Mummy’s pet.

But hey, I think I was quite independent today, you know. I was the ONLY outstation HO who drove down to Malacca alone, without my parents or family. Even the 2 only guys from PJ had their parents babysitting them. Don’t you think I deserved some credit for that???

However, it was quite scary as well, as I did not slept well the night before, and almost doze off on the journey here. Which of course, was bad. So bad I had to stop at one of the rest area, and took a 10 minute nap, and some coffee, before continuing my journey.

Today was basically ‘REPORTING DAY’ for me. Seriously, I have not been into the wards yet. Maybe I shall find some time to go to the wards tomorrow morning, just to have a look. I had like a session of lecturing until 12.45 noon, which I struggled very much not to fall asleep.
There was 11 new House Officers reporting to work today, 2 guys, and 7 girls. Apparently, both the guys had a quarter each to stay, while 9 of us, Yes, NINE of us, did not.

So, we were offered two options, temporarily, until we get a room at the hospital quarters. One to stay in a nearby abandoned wooden house in the hospital compound (A), or staying in a new apartment about 5 minutes drive away (B), both non-furnished. When I was shown to the former, I was like, how can I survive here?

I mean, in less than 2 minutes, my skin already had flares from the overloading mass cells, and I had rhinitis relapse. Yup, the place was super dusty; probably no one had been living here for the past 2 years or so. And there’s not yet all.

About 5 feet away, parted by a single fence, was a HUGE alarm clock. Of course, my other coursemates were like happily commenting, ‘Bagusnya,… waktu subuh mesti mudah bangun’…. While the little voice in me was saying, (forgive me for my harshness), WALAUWEYYY, I HAVE A DEDICATED 5 TIMES PER DAY ALARM CLOCK, the kind that vibrates some more.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Have I mention about the terrible sanitary condition, and the lack of facilities?
Naturally, I suggested taking a look at the other apartment, the new one, which is about 5 minutes away. Unfortunately, everyone was keener to Mr Alarm Clock. And I had no choice but to follow the crowd, as we were asked to agree upon one place to stay.

I felt alone.

Thank God, my seniors from UKM, Patricia & Yvonne, had an extra bed at her Quarters, and they sort of ‘adopted’ me. I got to stay with them for a while. So, they were my heroes who saved me from another asthmatic attack/rhinitis outbreak/atopy eczema… And my super-nice senior, Julian was kind enough to offer help and useful advices. And I’m glad Su Yin and QKK were still around for the next few days. At least I’ll have people to have dinner with me.

Otherwise… oh well… God knows what might happen to me.



I had been trying to learn the roads in Malacca today. I had learnt that:


1. Malacca had to use parking ticket EVERYWHERE you park. Which I thought was very troublesome, the scratching and time estimation thingy. Su Yin thought me how to sort of ‘cheat’ a few minutes… hehe… wow, I have a lot to learn.

2. The parking lots in Malacca are SUPER NARROW. I think after 2 years here, I’ll probably be a PROFESSIONAL in side parking!! Seriously!

3. Eventhough my friend gave directions to ‘go straight’ (in other words, follow the main road).. but the roads in Malacca Town is NEVER straight… It’s like a snake, winding…. And the one way streets makes things even more difficult. Not to forget, my naturally poor sense of directions… oh well…



I’m currently typing from the hall at the end of my block. It seemed quite scary around here. Me being the only one. I can hear the rain pouring outside, with occasional flashes of lightning, strikes of thunder. I fought the fear, the way I fought the fear all day, today.

I think I feared of not being able to fit in.

I feared that I might not be as strong as I thought.

I feared that I might give up. That I might break.

Dr XYZ warned me at induction that the first one month at our new hospital would probably be one of the HARDEST! Over 50% would be having second thoughts of ‘why am I here?’ ‘Why did I take medicine?’ … and I can’t help feeling the fear that I might fall into that category. I hope I won’t.

It’s sad you know. The quarters that I am currently accommodating is a 3-people sharing room with an attached bathroom. That’s all. YUP, that is all. No laundry area. No kitchen. No hall or rest area. More importantly, NO washing machine. NO refrigerator. okay, now that sounded almost too bimbotic, but nvm... i thought it was basic.. my senior sent her laudry to the dobi, which cost like RM3 per kg!!! wow! super-EX la... each time i go wash will be like RM10, times twice a week, for 4 weeks... hmm... RM80 per month on laundry! that also so susah, have to send clothes out...

And seriously, it does not feel home at all. I cannot imagine living in a place like this for the next two years. The social life in Housemanship was said to be almost non-existent. They have take so much away from me, sometimes, I just wished I still have some room of my own to breathe.

Do you know how does it feels, wanting to find a place to stay but there’s no one to share the place with me? And I do not think it’s very safe to live alone. I do not have that courage, yet, not yet. I surveyed this place, there is no swimming pool nearby, or squash courts, or any sports that I can play alone. Except, jogging, perhaps.

I wonder whether I need to have dinner alone. I have not tried that yet. I can imagine, even when I have the time to watch movies or go shopping, will I be doing that alone? At this point, I missed my friends and family so very much.

Well, I found there’s a MPH in Mahkota Perade. So, maybe, maybe there’s still a place where I can hang out contentedly.

Sorry, I am getting a little too wordy today.



I have a message to all :

COME TO HOSPITAL MALACCA TO WORK! COME FIND ME WHEN FREE!!

Oh well, I better get some sleep. Enough ranting for today…

p/s: some pictures of my new room :)

place to rehat

the beds...

you see what i see??

BINGO!

HOSPITAL BEDS!!!!!




>

CUPBOARDS

i got one all to myself!

yippie!!

the shower room a bit sad and geli...

sigh....

no heater... aiks...