Shadows
from the past
I
was making myself a drink in the kitchen, then I got distracted by a
memory, a memory once forgotten, and somehow, by accident, or by
chance, the cup fell and everything scattered, spilled all over the
white tiled floor.
I
suppose most people, perhaps almost everyone, must have had shadows
of their past. Memories that they had forced themselves to forget,
inhibited, locked in a safe, at the dark corner of their mind.
Yet,
somehow, after a couple of months, sometimes even years, somehow, no
matter how powerful your mind tries to inhibit the memories, you
never quite forget them.
For
Boon Lee, I suppose it must have been 'okane'. Even after happily
married, one sudden day, her zhimui (sister friend) would suddenly
watsapp her and say: guess what? I saw okane the other day on the
street with another girl. Thought you would like to know. And the
thing is, I could tell that there was a part of her which had not
quite let go the shadow of her past.
God
always have His plans. His reasons. As for me, when mine revisited my
mind, I just had to spill everything. Pure foolishness and stupidity I have to admit. So there I was, on my fours, scrubbing
the floors of my kitchen. As the tiles became cleaner, my mind
clearer. As if the shadows of my past being wiped away. I was so
soiled that I had to took a shower after that. And that made me feel
better.
It
made me think. Does everyone else have a shadow of their past? How do
they cope with it? What if they need to face it almost everyday? What
if they lived in fear of being reminded of the past? Was I ever, by
chance a shadow of someone else's?
P/s:
Back to reality. No time for mind games, just finding excuses not to
study. Sigh...
