COAMS #28 - An Indecisive Libran

Considering me being an indecisive libran,
making a decision, having a stand,
is never easy,

Finally being able to hold on to what i believe,
fighting for it,
and actually winning it,
but somehow things don't work out...
i wonder,
is it fate? or simply my stubborness...
religious believers call them 'tests and challenges from God'
to some others, it's just bad luck,
to me, i just feel silly, dumb,
i wished someone would just say,
'you did the right thing'
instead of 'you did what you think was right'
although sometimes, there really isn't any right or wrong,
and i wonder all the efforts,
all for nothing...
and sometimes, i just gave up...

Everything happens for some reason,
God has fooled me, again...

(November 26, 2006 at 07:21 AM)

COAMS #27 - Everyone faces exams

(November 23, 2006 at 06:04 PM)

i realise that everyone faces exams, whether your are 3rd year (like me), 4th year, 5th year, being a registra, going for specialisation, etc... Even when you are no longer a student, only that they don't call them exams anymore- being job interviews, promotion, hitting the target, meeting expectations,.. they are all actually some form of exams, seeing how far you can go, how high you can reach.. only that exams have a fix date... oh well...

i am not saying that exams are all bad though... i mean, they ARE there for some REASON... stress is good,.. to a certain extend, when under control... with stress, you get all the adrenaline pumping which actually pushes you beyond your imagination... sometimes, i do wonder how did i manage to burn the midnight oil, reading pages after pages, a chain coffee-addict i am during my pre-clinical years... perhaps, it's the norm around here... either you work or die...

note that i used the word [did]- past tense...

exams is coming up in a week's time.. stress is building,.. i am trying to convince myself that this is a normal process, and after that, everything will be fine...

there is really so much more to life besides exams... but if you take life one at a day, and ignore exams, you probably wouldn't be so ambitious anyway...

the secret to success, if any, is total commitment...

(which explains why i was never successful, haha!)


p/s: yesterday was a 'good' hair day (do you call it 'good hair day'?).. i decided to be a doctor who is nice to patients and med students when i graduate,.. that is IF i graduate... Dr Shakee was awesome! sometimes, a doctor can make one's day... without realising how much they influences goes ;)

COAMS #26 - complains and more complains

(November 16, 2006 at 02:12 AM)

When will I stop complaining?

I can’t help it, really. Today’s another one of those [bad-hair-day].. or rather [bad-hair-week].. I feel terrible, in fact, I looked terrible…

I had abdominal pain last Tuesday,.. went to the A&E department and had to answer a list of really annoying questions like: where EXACTLY is the pain? Where is the maximal intensity? Does it radiate anywhere? Any rebound tenderness? How is the nature of the pain? Colicky? Sharp? Dull? Cramping?? ArGGGGHhhhhhh…….. Although I am a medical student, being a really really SICK medical student, I really can’t be bothered.. Inside of me was just shouting, HELL,SKIP THE QUESTIONS AND JUST GIVE ME ALL THE PAIN KILLERS YOU’VE GOT!! Ironic huh? How you understand why patients can get real annoyed.. The worst thing was when the HO (House Officer) open her book of drug list and ask me what drug i want... hah!


I tried to start my day with a smile,
Tried to convince myself that today will be a fine day,
Yet,.. today is still as yesterday...

Today’s really not my day…
i'm having emotional fluctuation,
having menstrual pain
had acute gastro enteritis
on top of that, i'm suffering from PRE-EXAM-SYNDROME
and i got INK-ed today...
and my precious handphone got a spot.
i should be enjoying myself at Genting with BoonLee and Audrey now,
but i'm stucked here, *siGh*...
and i've got class at 7am tomorrow...

well, somethings never change...
when will i ever stop complaining... =P

An Awesome Experience!

(November 03, 2006 at 08:01 AM)

Imagine...
The strings each taking their turns,
Gradually uniting and building the climax
The cello plucked and hopped
Screeching as they hit the bridge
Unexpectedly gentle to the ears
The woodwinds pulling you forward
Like a magnet of unknown powers
The sound of the piccolo singing like a bird
The flutes skip along
The harps play angelically, I felt like in heaven,
The horns and trumpets,
Majestically making their stand,
The drum rolls,
The symbol claps… marking- the end.
I've attended many musical performances,
And today,
today was by far THE MOST AWESOME performance!!